When It Counts
by B4C
Summary: As much as she loves Chuck and even though she is expecting, Blair thinks her marriage is over - until an accident robs her of her memory. It might be the perfect opportunity to start over... On Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Blair Waldorf Bass stepped out of the town car and on to the busy New York street. Beside the large revolving door of the high-rise in front of her was a sign that read 'Bass Industries'.

Her Husband, Chuck, was inside at his desk. Nearly two hours late for the five course dinner she'd abandoned on their dining room table.

Blair ran one hand across her stomach. The stench of the dry, down town air making her insides turn. She swallowed, her throat almost clenching she felt so nauseous. She'd suggested a special dinner tonight because she'd finally decided to tell Chuck the secret she'd been keeping. Thank Good she hadn't told him before.

She'd waited for him, staring at the bottle of sparkling grape juice she'd had Darota set between their plates as a hint. She'd memorized that bottle while she'd opened her eyes to the facts. She and Chuck had both kept secrets for the past sixteen weeks, only she'd been desperate enough to pretend she didn't see what Chuck was doing.

Late nights at the office, fierce silences at home, see-through excuses for the cell phone he'd practically strapped to his hand. Most women would suspect an affair, but Chuck Bass had a different problem.

His mother had left him and his father when he was still a baby. As a result of that long ago abandonment and the way his father had died leaving Chuck to think he was ashamed of him, Chuck tied his worth to his success with Bass Industries.

He'd do anything to provide for Blair, but he kept his emotional distance afraid of not being enough for her. His need to protect Blair has pushed her away, because she wanted a husband who would let her help him solve his problems, not pull away when troubles came.

Both Chuck and Blair sprang from a long line of families that failed emotionally. When they had finally married two years ago after six years of hot and heavy drama, Blair had tried to create the family they had both craved as children. Instead, they'd created and emotional divide.

She felt as thought she was already alone. She'd made up excuses for Chuck's absences, for his distraction when he showed up late to one gathering or another. If she was going to raise a child alone, it would be because she no longer lived with her baby's father.

A man in a dark suite exited the building. Blair knew him. A member of Chucks legal team. Blair pasted a smile on her face. After today she wouldn't have to pretend everything was normal.

Wind from a passing cab blew her hair across her face, and Blair brushed the strands out of her eyes. She refused to wait for Chuck to tell her what was wrong with the business. Hurting from the pain of another betrayal cost her more then knowing the truth. She'd make him tell her.

Squaring her shoulders, she marched across the marble floor of the buildings lobby to the elevators. Her legs felt like Jelly as the doors opened on the top floor. She opened the frosted glass doors that were engraved with the company's name.

The moment she stepped inside, the temperature dropped. Even in mid-May, the heat in the city made air-conditioning a requirement. Blair swiped at the perspiration on her forehead. Her hand trembled in front of her eyes.

She'd offer Chuck a chance to explain because she still didn't want to leave him. When they were good, they were very, very good.

Chuck's voice murmured from behind his office door. For a moment she hoped he had a late appointment with a client. Then she recognized a tone she always dreaded hearing. She couldn't understand what he was saying, but he was in trouble.

He anger simmered as every excuse Chuck had given her in the past few weeks repeated in her head. She wouldn't have kept her own secret if she'd trusted him.

Not that she could give him all the blame. She'd stayed. She hated feeling dependent, and her relationship with Chuck made her feel dependent rather then stronger. When they were bad, they were unbearable.

Striding models of the building the company owned Blair tried to imagine why her husband had decided his success here meant more then their marriage.

She passed empty offices. Her best friend and sister in law, Serena who work for the company as head of PR, had already gone home.

Chuck office lay at the end of the hall. The air conditioning's whisper cushioned the sound of Blair's heels on the floor. Suddenly, John Cate, Bass Industries head of security, leaned into Blair's view through the slightly ajar door, his bulk bending the frame of his chair as he crossed his arms behind his head.

'I know,' he said on a hefty sigh. 'A trained cop had no business losing Jack in the men's room, bit I didn't train the cops who work the airport. Just chill, Charles. We'll find him and your money before you have to shut the doors for good.'

Blair stumbled to a halt, flexing her fingers against the creamy, pattered wallpaper. The truth came as no surprise, but hearing it in plain words felt like a near fatal wound.

'What if it's already too late?' Chuck asked. 'I'm working my investors now as if I were the criminal. But I don't do business this way, and I don't like knowing my employees may be working on borrowed time.'

The scream in Blair's head must have translated to some kind of sound. John turned to her, surprise widening his eyes. She pulled her hand off the wall. After twenty two years of pretending her life was perfect she had honed her skills. She'd pretend nothing was wrong. Next best thing to acting as if Chuck had talked to her about the problem.

'Good evening Mr. Cate.'

'Evening Mrs. Bass.'

'Chuck's chair squeaked. After a few muffled steps, he came around the door, tall, dark and clueless. 'Is something wrong at home?'

Startled at his unexpected question, Blair searched chiseled features that had thinned over the past weeks to an ascetic sharpness. His problems in this office had distracted him. He'd forgotten their meal and his promise to come home early. Naturally he only expected her to show up if some thing was wrong.

'Everything is fine.'

A lover's fear haunted his eyes. Chuck loved the idea of their family. He truly loved her - as much as she loved him.

'I came because you're late,' she said.

He turned a wary gaze on the other man in the room. 'John…..'

John pried himself out of the chair. 'I'll get back to you later, Charles.'

Blair watched the other man leave. With each step he took toward the elevator lobby, she braced herself to face the reason for her husband's guilty expression.

'Blair.' Taking her arm, Chuck forced her to look at him before she was ready.

She shook him off. 'Don't.' All she wanted was for him to tell her she was wrong. 'Why was John here?'

'Please believe I wanted to tell you.' He took her hands again. Heat throbbed from his callused palms. She splayed her fingers over the underside of his wrist, where his pulse tapped an alarm. A measure of calm came to her despite confusion that had become familiar. 'Something's happened. Again.'

He tightened his hands, but he couldn't seem to answer her. She studied his face, intent on every nerve, every shadow of guilt that flittered behind his eyes that knew her both to well and not at all.

'This time was different, Blair.'

'You always say it's different, but it never is.' The future yawned in front of her like a hungry mouth. 'You keep problems from me because you think I'll leave you.'

Sweat beaded on his upper lip. He didn't look well, but she couldn't spare him any more of her empathy.

'I would have told you.' He released one of her hands. 'I had to make sure I knew how much trouble we're facing.'

'I don't trust you.' She flattened her free hand over her belly, tracing the mound she couldn't hind much longer. She wouldn't expose a child to a part-time father. 'I can't go on the way we are, and you can't change. You never would have told me about Jack. You planned to clean up the mess by yourself.'

'I haven't told anyone. Jack embezzled from the company accounts. He stole almost everything. We've lost a lot of money, and we're trying to find Jack before he knows we're looking for him.'

She fought to control her anger, but reason hadn't worked with him in the past. 'First, you should tell the employees if they're in danger of losing their jobs. Second, I don't work for you, and I'm not a newspaper reporter. You have no right to keep me in the dark. I'm your wife. I don't know why you won't let me help.'

'What could you have done?'

'I don't know, but you never gave me a chance. You prefer to suffer alone.'

'I'm supposed to protect you.'

'Please don't start that old story again.' She freed herself from him. 'I'm not like your mother. I don't need your money, Chuck I want you. If the company burned to the ground, I'd want to help you rebuild, but you wouldn't turn to me. You want to protect me, but I can't count on you if something goes wrong in this office.'

She spun blindly toward the reception area. She had one thought - to escape this building without him - but he kept pace with her as if she were crawling.

'Where are you going' His stunned tone hurt most of all.

'I told you I wouldn't stay if you hid anything else from me.'

'Tell me how I'm different then you, Blair. How often are you faking your happiness, smiling to hid the tears. You run to Serena, every time something happens you never come to me. I'm only trying to provide the life you deserve.'

His last self-serving point pushed Blair too far. She turned on him, but momentum carried her too close to him. His familiar spicy sent triggered a basic need whose power had always frightened her.

Wanting him so much, she felt weak and angry with herself. 'Don't look for someone to blame because you and I failed at our marriage.'

He reeled backward, stumbling into a model of the 'Palace Hotel'. Instinctively, Blair caught his arm before she was certain whether she wanted to shove him or help him.

No, she knew what she had to do. 'I stayed for you, but you clearly don't need me or want me. I don't want to kept pretending you and I are going to live happily ever after. Not together, anyway.'

'Blair.' His husky plea caught her unawares. He reached for her, his wedding band glowing gold in the artificial light.

She arched away from him. Tears clouded her vision, but as the elevator doors slid open, she walked deter idly toward the night outside.

Outside the wind wiped her hair into her eyes. She bumped into a soft figure that had to be a women. Blair muttered a tear-choked apology and broke for the sidewalk where the town car waited. But she stumbled and fell of the curb.

Her right ankle turned over. Pain nearly paralyzed her as her foot skidded along the gutter. Behind her, a women's voice shrilled, but the deep blast of a car horn seemed to finish her shriek. Blair straightened, turning. A yellow cab, coming fast, froze her.

'Blair!' Chuck must have followed her. He was furious, afraid and too far away.

She reached blindly into thin air, twisting back toward the sidewalk. Seconds stretched, defying the laws of nature. Chuck caught her hand. She recognized the strength of his long fingers, the breadth of his palms. She grabbed at him, but she couldn't get her feet beneath her. Holding on to her husband, she peered over her shoulder at the driver.

Intensity crumpled his face. His body lifted in the seat, as if he were standing on his brakes.

They screamed, and time lost its elasticity.

Blair willed her body away from the car. Chuck yanked her, but something glanced off her leg, more a jarring thump than real pain.

At first.

Chuck pulled her hard against his body as a fire-edged knife seemed to slice through her thigh. Behind her, the car's tires grounded into the road and chaos faded to silence.

An unnatural silence, empty of voices or traffic, footsteps or the constant whisper of the city. Blair knew only pain and overwhelming nausea. Panic clutched at her. Was she sick because of the baby, or the torture of her leg? Was she going to lose her baby?

'I've got you. You're safe.'

She looked up. Chuck's fear fed her terror. She hadn't trusted him enough to tell him about her pregnancy, and now she didn't know how to say the words.

'Focus on me.' Chuck turned his head. 'Someone call 911!'

Around them, cell phones erupted in a cacophony of beeps. Somehow, Blair found a smile, but Chuck stared at her, amazed.

She concentrated on his dark eyes. 'You've always wanted to save my life.'

With his face pale as beach sand, Chuck didn't smile back. 'Don't talk.'

People she knew, their driver, edged into her peripheral vision.

'Look at the blood running down her leg, Mr. Bass.' He pushed a man-smelling jacket beneath her nose. 'Maybe you need this.'

'Get a demand ambulance,' Chuck snarled, but then the muscles around his mouth worked as he fought to maintain his composure. 'Blair, you're all right.'

A resounding roar overwhelmed her silent prayer that he'd keep holding her too close for her to look down and see blood. Pressure, like a giant hand ,seemed to push her toward the ground. 'I think I'm not all right.'

She was going to faint. First time she could ever remember fainting. Was she dying? 'Chuck, I - I have'

Chuck's voice cracked. 'You're fine.'

'I have to tell you…' That strange pressure swathed her in darkness. Only Chuck's arms kept her from falling. She forgot what she had to tell him, but she hung on until the darkness swallowed her whole.

END CHAPTER ONE.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The doctors calm infuriated Chuck. 'After a thirty-six hour coma, we can't know how she'll be when she wakes up. She lost a lot of blood from that gash in her thigh, and she went into shock.'

Each word the doctor spoke embedded itself in Chuck like a gun shot. Infuriated that he couldn't help her, he stared at his unconscious wife. Her vulnerable, wounded body rumpled the blanket on her bed. The bank of blinking monitors that surrounded her screeched persistently enough to wake the dead. Chuck bit the side of his cheek.

Men don't cry. So his father had preached. Clutching Blair's unresponsive hand, Chuck alternated between an urge to bawl with unmanly pain and an acute need to break everything in the small hospital room.

'She'll wake up,' Dr. Oakliegh said, as if he saw through Chuck's attempt at stoic silence. 'She's healthy - no sign of infection in her wound. We just have to see where we stand. Tests, physical therapy - Excuse me Mr. Bass.'

The doctor barely cleared the doorway before Serena slipped into the room. Chuck rubbed his fist against his temple, annoyed that he hadn't asked her to call Blair's mother and Father in France.

Serena eased around the bed. 'What dose the doctor say?'

His sister was so close with his wife he was sure they sometimes shared each other's thoughts. If only Blair could sense Serena's pain, she'd wake up, feeling a compulsion to help her sister in law.

'He says the same thing over and over. We have to wait.' He stroked his wife's forearm, grateful for the body heat that warmed her silky skin. How had he not noticed she was avoiding him, even in their bed? 'I'm fed up with waiting.' Waiting and thinking about all the signs he should have read as he and Blair traveled to the end of their marriage.

'Where's Eric, Chuck? He's the only member of our family not accounted for in the waiting room, and I think you need him.'

'He called, he's driving in from Hudson with Jenny and Nate.' Chuck roused himself. Last time he'd left this room, the waiting room had been empty. 'Is Dan out there?'

Serena shook her head. 'I sent him home to relieve the sitter. He'll come back in the morning when the baby wakes up.'

He nodded, twisting his hands on the metal bed rail. Serena's eyes seemed unnaturally wide as she tried to smile. 'We're all afraid. What if she doesn't wake up? How long are we supposed to-'

'Don't think about giving up.' Chuck briefly hugged his sister.

'Don't worry.' She gripped Blair's hand. 'I refuse to lose her.'

Serena's tenacity almost renewed his faith. But it might be too late for him and Blair. Her serious injuries and the possibility that she'd never let him try to win her back lingered in his mind.

He'd wanted to make her life comfortable and easy. Instead he'd let her down, and even now, he wasn't sure what he'd done wrong.

The door swished open, and Lilly Humphrey entered the room. Courage in her tired gaze touched Chuck. He'd swear she hadn't closed her eyes since he'd had to tell her about Blair. Neither had he, but she looked fragile, worrying for her son and daughter in law.

He dragged a chair to the side of Blair's bed for his mother. Although Lilly hadn't become his mother until she adopted him at seventeen, when she married his father, she had taken him in as one of her own and convinced him that he was a true part of the family. Even after his father had died and Lilly had re-married she had shown him real affection and made sure he knew he was apart of their family, a brother, a son.

Taking Blair's hand, Lilly sat and smoothed the sheet beside Blair's hip. 'You need to get some rest, Charles.'

Before he could answer, Nathanial Archibald entered the small room with his girlfriend Jenny's hand at his elbow. Behind them, Eric craned for a glimpse of his brother and sister in law.

Eric sidled through the others to wrap his arms around his big brothers shoulders. Chuck hugged back, t o Eric's relief, but then quickly pulled away. Chuck preferred a handshake to any display of affection.

Chuck met Nate's questioning gaze. 'The doctor can't say much until Blair wakes up.'

'Until she breaks out of that coma,' Serena said, as if the coma were and animal that had wrapped her friend in its vicious grip. 'Let's face facts.'

'I won't face that word.' said Chuck, his expression a faultless display of barely controlled fear. 'Take this chair Serena. And stop talking.

His sister gave him an annoyed glance. 'We need to be realistic about this Chuck.' She bellowed at a decibel level her voice only reached when she was stressed and angry.

Eric patted his sisters hand motioning for her to be quiet. 'I know your both worried but yelling at each other won't help.

Serena slunk into the seat sulking. 'Maybe the racket will wake -' she actually lifted her voice '-Blair.'

Her foot twitched beneath the covers. Chuck went back to her bed. 'Blair?' Could waking her be that easy?

Her eyelids fluttered. For a horrified moment, he was afraid she couldn't open her eyes.

'Blair,' he said, 'wake up. Serena, why didn't you shout at her before?'

'Shall I try again?' Serena leaned closer to Blair and might have yelled again, except Eric placed a hand on her shoulder holding her still .

Chuck flashed his younger brother a grateful smile and took Blair's hand. 'Wake up,' he said again. 'Please, Blair.' He didn't beg easily, and his resistance had been a sore spot between them. He'd beg pretty damn freely now. 'Blair,' he said again, and she opened her eyes and held them open. Her steady dark gaze made him want to shout, but he knew better than to scare her.

'Are you in pain?' He didn't dare look away. Something different in her expression bothered him - some level of detachment. 'Serena, get the doctor.'

As Serna left, Blair's gaze followed her. She studied each person around her bed. Nothing that made her the Blair he loved was in that gaze. She eyed her friends, mother in law and husband with the same strange, dreamy look until she focused on Chuck again.

'Who are you?'

The courtesy in her tone chilled him.

Trying to ask her what the hell she was talking about, he choked on his first breath. Confusion threaded the air, like a piece of twine that slipped from body to body. Strangling them all.

Jenny was the first to cry out, but then she covered her mouth. The flowers Nate had been holding clattered to the floor. Chuck reached for his mothers shoulder, steadying himself with hands that shook hard enough to remind him how his father felt about men who gave in to their emotions.

But even Bart Bass would understand this. Blair had really left him after all.

END CHAPTER TWO.

A quick little update to keep you interested. After reading this back I feel like there might be some confusion with the relationships, so below is a brief explanation.

Serena and Dan are married and have a baby boy (yet to be named).

Nate and Jenny are dating. In my mind nothing with Chuck and Jenny ever happened and as they got older the girls go over their differences and became friends.

Vanessa has disappeared off the face of the planet simply cause I have no place for her in the story,.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The lovely women with blond hair had raced out of the room, and the others, except for the dark man, poured after her. Just as well. Breathing took such an awful effort, and that many people must use a lot of oxygen

Why would a hospital let such a crowd mill around a patient's room? She stopped in mid thought. She must be the patient. She was in bed.

How she'd come there escaped her, although she felt as if someone had welded a hot metal plate to her right leg. Nausea hovered, as if she were on a boat that refused to stop rocking.

She willed her queasiness away and concentrated on the man. Watching her from wide, dark eyes, he was clearly waiting for her to speak. As if he knew her.

She didn't know him.

She must have been in an accident. Had she interrupted a family reunion? That many people in the same place had to be a family.

She took a deep breath that seemed to fill her head. The truth rocked her. Strangers didn't hang around a hospital bed, even if they'd banded together to rescue an accident victim.

She didn't remember what had happened to her. She remembered - nothing.

At her shoulder, a monitor's steady beep grew more rapid. The sound drew her gaze as she tried to pry her own name out of her blank memory. She didn't seem to have a name.

She knew her name. Everyone knew her own name. It was - she could feel it on the tip of her tongue. She ought to know. The monitor began to ping like sonar.

She didn't know.

Suddenly aware of the man's harsh grip on her hand, she turned toward him. 'I don't know you.'

'I'm your husband. 'I'm Chuck Bass.'

He terrified her. She tried to sit up in bed, but a powerful, formless weight held her down.

'I'll help you,' he said.

He wrapped his large hands around her upper arms, but his strength made her feel weak, and she pushed him away.

'I don't need your help.'

Stung, he straightened, looking impossibly tall. 'What's the matter?' He reached for her again, but something in her eyes must have shown him how seriously she wanted him to keep his hands off her. He fisted them at his sides.

'You act as if you have some right to touch me,' she whispered. 'Who am I?' She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

'My wife,' he said. 'Blair….Bass.'

'Why don't I know you?' She darted a glance at the window. Low clouds hung above skyscrapers. It all looked completely unfamiliar. The glass offered a faint reflection, but she couldn't see details of her face. 'Let me see what I look like maybe I will rememb-'

Before she could finish, he whipped open the top of the table at her elbow. A mirror was mounted inside. With the man's help, she twisted the table toward her, so she could see.

Wild dark eyes stared back at her from beneath a mass of dark brown hair. She gasped. The mouth in the mirror opened, and a scream tore the air.

'Blair.' His fear-drenched voice scared her, but he tucked her against his body, and she seemed to fit into the hard contours of his chest.

She closed her eyes. Darkness and the man's faint, spicy sent blotted out the mirror, the room, the world as far as she knew it. She didn't want to see herself. She'd lost everything, her past, her sense of identity.

Her life.

END CHAPTER TWO.

A really short update I know, but it has been a busy week. I had a few questions and don't worry all of them will be answered eventually.

One I will answer now is - 'Why are Blair and Jenny friends?'

That are not really friends per say, more acquaintances. As I mentioned earlier in my mind and subsequently my story, nothing ever happened between Jenny and Chuck so other the Jenny's teen angst and general brattyness Blair has no reason to hate her.

Should not be too long till the next update.

Xoxo


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

'Mr. Bass, go home. Get some sleep and have a shower.' Dr Barton's voice woke Blair.

She opened her eyes. She'd hardly been out of the coma for a full day, but the doctor's visits interested her. Unlike her family, he wanted nothing from her. She looked from him to the husband she didn't know.

Chuck straightened in a metal - and - vinyl chair. 'I don't need sleep or a shower.'

She lifted her hand to him, but he shook his head, obviously aware she was going to second the doctor's suggestion. She continued anyway. 'You need your rest.' She shouldn't have buried her face in his manly chest. Her momentary weakness had apparently convinced him she needed a bodyguard. 'Nothing bad will happen to me if you leave my room.'

He shot a wary glance at the doctor, who nodded. Chuck stood, but tension built as he hesitated, air didn't know how to respond to him. His deep concern touched her. She found his stubbled chin attractive, his dark, brooding eyes appealing. She liked the way he smelled, but Chuck expected more than the gratitude and simple attraction she felt.

'Do you want me to come back/' he asked.

She like to remember why he seemed as uncomfortable with her as she was with him. Had their marriage been happy? 'After you rest, if you feel like coming back, I'll be here.'

He turned toward the doctor, but his gaze lingered on her as he spoke. 'You know where to reach me?'

The doctor moved to Blair's bed, an impresario, showing off his brightest talent. 'Blair is awake and healthy and on the mend. We won't need to dive into that pool of phone numbers you gave us.'

With a wry expression, Chuck trudged to the door, and most of the pressure left with him, Blair sank against her pillows. The gruff doctor shut her door and dragged a chair to her bed.

'let's talk,' he said.

His urgency alarmed her. 'Did you find something in the test?'

'No…well, nothing new, but I've been trying to get you alone since you woke up yesterday. I have to tell you something I don't believe you've told Mr. Bass.'

She attempted a smile. 'Another man come forward to claim me as his wife.'

He gave a slight, anxious grin that put her on edge.

'We only allow one family per amnesiac.' His gaze grew as intense as any of her family's. 'I wish I could prepare you for this news, but I must say it quickly before someone else comes in. You're pregnant, and I've been unethical.' He patted her good leg. 'What a relief to say that out loud at last.'

Bair grabbed the bed rails as the world seemed to open up beneath her. 'I'm pregnant?'

'Just over sixteen weeks.' He went on, as if they should both be ready to talk facts. 'You were spotting when you came in. By the time we could leave you to speak to Charles, he should have asked us about the baby. When he didn't, I began to worry you hadn't told him and that you had a reason for not telling him. I asked Mrs. Rose, your mother, for your gynecologist's name.'

Words escaped her at first. 'How old am I again?'

'Twenty three.'

Pregnant, twenty three, married, and she hadn't told anyone about the baby. Why?

She slid her hands over her stomach. It was round all right. She hadn't thought to ask why. An unexpected protectiveness caught her by surprise, and she accepted a new first priority. 'Is the baby all right?'

'Yes. Your bleeding was light, and you stopped within a few hours. I still would have told Mr. Bass if I hadn't tracked down your doctor.'

'My obstetrician?'

'Right. She said you'd decided not to tell Mr. Bass yet, so I followed your wishes. However your doctor needs to see you, so you have to decide how to tell your family. She'll never make it in here and out again without being ambushed, considering the way your family guards that door.'

Blair's large family overwhelmed her, too. She couldn't see their constant, well-meant surveillance as a joke. 'No one else asked about the baby? Not my mother or my sister in law?'

'I wish they had.'

'Did my doctor explain why I've kept the pregnancy a secret?'

'She doesn't know, and I can't promise your mother hasn't spoken to anyone else since I asked for your OB's name.' Dr. Batron patted her forearm. 'Try not to worry. I expect Mr. Bass would have exploded by now had your mother told him.'

'I need to talk to Chuck. What was wrong between us?'

'I'm not sure anything was wrong.'

Blair pushed her fingers through her hair. 'Doctor, please tell me the truth.' She pressed her palms together, trying to look self-possessed. She didn't want or need a gentle bedside manner. 'Will I ever know these people again?'

He hunched his shoulders beneath his wrinkled lab coat. 'All I ever say to you or Mr. Bass is 'I don't know,' And I don't know because shock, rather than a head injury, caused your amnesia, I'd day your memory will trickle back.' Grinning, he popped his glasses from the top of his head onto his face, where they magnified her weary eyes. 'Trickle. That's a technical term.'

Blair tried to smile, but his nonanswer made her head ache. She lifted her hand between them, turning it from side to side. 'I must have seen my fingers millions of times, but I don't recognize them. I scared myself to death when I looked in a mirror. My family make me feel anxious and I'm more comfortable talking to you then to my husband.'

'These are the facts. You can't balance them with what you feel, because all your emotions are tied up in your memory loss.' The doctor folded her fingers between his weathered hands. 'I don't know why you'd hide a child from Charles, but he cares about you. He stood a vigil at your bedside no matter how many times I begged him to go home. I thought we might end up having to treat him. That man didn't stay all this time because he felt it was his duty.'

Good. She didn't want a dutiful marriage. She wanted passion and commitment, a love that made a women want to tell her husband they were having their first child.

Might she have hidden her pregnancy from Chuck for a more obvious and insidious reason than a marriage that had wound down to duty? ' What if Chuck isn't the baby's father? Would you have heard rumors if I was having an affair?'

Dr. Barton sat back as if someone had tried to yank his chair out from under him. 'The Waldorf's have a bad habit of making destructive decisions, but not you, Blair.'

'Waldorf's?' She found no comfort in his vehement support.

'Your father's family. Your mother is re-married. I've know your family for a long time and I've seen you make healthier choices as you grew. Even beating your eating disordered.'

'Explain, please.'

'No. you speak to your mother or father.' At his nervous glance, she imagined the worse. 'You need to rebuild your relationships with your family, not with me.'

'You're not hurt because I can't remember you.'

He held up both hands. 'You have to jump off this cliff. Think of me as a parachute if you jump and you need help getting to the ground, but talk to your family.'

Outside her room, a women's voice paged another doctor over the PA system, and some sort of heavy equipment rolled down the hall on squeaky wheels.

Still, Dr. Barton waited for her to behave the way she always had.

Blair covered her face with her hands, but then flattened her palms at her side. 'I can't lie here and wait for my life to happen to me, can I?'

He slipped his hands in his pockets. 'I'll arrange for your OB to see you. Figure out what to tell Charles about the baby.'

Memory must shape a person's sense of self. When she tried to think how she should approach Chuck, she faced a mental blank. 'I think I'll try the truth.' She winced a little. 'The truth as we know it, anyway.'

END CHAPTER FOUR.

Another short update that hopefully answers more of your questions. It would be great to have some more information in the form of reviews.

Xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Hurrying back to his car. Chuck cheeked his watch, he wanted to see his wife. Fifteen minutes took him back to the hospital.

The car pulled to the curb and he stared out at the half-finished building that overshadowed the hospital. His work site, the new medical building.

Wind blew dirt in his eyes, blurring his vision. He wiped a film of sweat off his neck as the early spring sun soaked through his suit. Work continued on the medical centre despite the trouble with Bass industries finances. Thoughts of the troubles with Jack made him sweat more.

The board of Bass industries had voted against telling the employees until they knew the extent of the problem. Chuck had argued, but he'd finally agreed to hold off. Deciding to lie to Blair had been shamefully easy.

Maybe her injuries gave him a real reason to hide the truth. Getting acquainted with her family again would be hard enough. Maybe by the time she remembered everything, the police would have found Jack and the funds he'd stolen. Blair might not have to know.

Her accusations came back to him loud and clear and all to accurate. He'd always followed the same pattern, trying to fix business problems before he had to tell her about them.

He climbed the slight rise to the hospital entrance. Inside he drank in the cooler air.

The guard who patrolled the lobby stepped forward. Chuck knew him and the gray-haired women behind the information desk. After a curt nod to the guard and the older women, he evaded their sympathetic glances.

Their pity turned him back into the little boy whose mother had left him and whose father had deserted him.

The elevator doors wheezed open, pulling him out of the past. He glanced at the number painted on the pale blue wall. Blair's floor.

At her door, he knocked lightly before he went inside. To his surprise, she was sitting up, reading a magazine. She looked up, stroking the dressing that bulged against the sheet on her thigh.

'Hey,' she said, her tone lush and deep, like the East river.

'How do you feel?' Idiot, he thought. Idiotic question.

Blair set the magazine aside. 'I want to talk to you about how I feel.'

She looked younger then twenty three. Far younger. He still saw her as the little girl he had grown up with, the young lady he'd had a crush on and the women he'd fallen in love with.

He steeled himself. 'Tell me now if something's wrong.'

'You're making me nervous. Can you sit down so we can talk eye to ye?'

Wondering how hard his heart could pound before it exploded, he dropped into the chair beside her bed. 'How bad is it? Just tell me.'

Confronted with the threat of another injury she found hard to discuss, he realized once and for all how they'd changed. Not just because he didn't trust her to love the part of him that felt so afraid.

'Chuck, I need to know your listening to me.'

Her demand surprised him. She sounded exactly as she had the day of the accident. 'You're still yourself, after all.'

'Am I?' Interested filled her blue eyes as she held out her hand. 'Tell me how.'

'What you just said, that you needed me to listen. Just before you got hurt, you were trying to make me understand exactly what you…'

'We argued?'

'I'm afraid so.' If she'd given him time, he might have tried to paint a better picture of those last seconds. 'It wasn't important.'

'But you didn't understand me?'

'We've known each other a long time. We've learned a shorthand, but shorthand may not have covered the conversations we needed to have.' Jeez, he sounded like a talk show therapist. 'What's wrong with you, Blair?'

'It's not serious …I'm not….oh, I give up.' She pushed her hair behind both ears. 'I'm trying to tell you gently because I'm not sure you'll be pleased, but I'm pregnant.'

He heard but didn't hear. Chuck leaned forward, seeing her as a stranger. Her watchful eyes couldn't belong to his Blair. 'How pregnant?'

'Sixteen weeks.' She spread the gown over her belly , and he saw why she'd begun to avoid his touch.

He'd trusted her with his life, but she'd kept his child a secret. Her betrayal cut deep. 'I thought you didn't even want me to make love to you anymore.'

The only time they'd still communicated.

'Why didn't I tell you?' Blair asked.

Rage made him harsh. 'Since you didn't, I can't explain.' she'd planned to leave, but her decision hadn't been spur of the moment. She'd planned to take her child. His heart stuttered over a few beats.

'I can't talk any more.'

'But I need to know…'

With his own lie foremost in his mind, he met her tear-sharpened gaze. He didn't trust her tears, but he'd been no paragon of honesty.

'Why are you crying?' he asked.

'Because I don't understand. Were we unhappy?'

'I can't guess how you felt, I remember the last six years . I remember how happy I was when you agreed to be my wife.' They had be so happy and so in love. 'I would have been so happy to be the father of your child, too.'

…...

'Just find somewhere to pull up' Eleanor's orders bounced around the roof and doors of the town car.

The driver braked beneath the canopy at the hospital's front door. 'Hurry up and get out of this car Cyrus, I'd like to visit my daughter before tomorrow morning.'

They were still arguing as they walked through the doors. 'Do not tell me not to shout, Cyrus. I never shout. Are you suggesting I'm not considerate of sick people?'

'I'm suggesting, my love, you button your lips before that guard throws us all out.'

They crowded into the elevator along with Serena, Nate and Dan. When they arrived at Blair's room she was standing by the window. Serena followed the others inside. Just in time to catch the way Blair's bewildered smile lingered on her family.

'Come in. Let me ask for more chairs. Cyrus, take this one.' She offered the only seat in the room, but he pushed it toward Eleanor.

'I'll go the nurse's station and ask for more. They should have brought more chairs inhere anyway. They know you have a big family. Sit down, Eleanor.'

'No, I'll go with you.' She nodded encouragingly toward her daughter. 'The kids can have some time to talk.'

Good thing Nate was a grown man, or he'd have grabbed Eleanor's skirt as she passed him. He was suddenly afraid to be left in the room with Blair, unaware of how to act around her. Rocking on his heels he looked at his life long friend. Trying to think of something worth saying. She limped toward him, and for a second, he thought she was going to hug him. Instead, she kept going. He lurched out of her way as she closed the door.

'I have to ask.' She held the door shut. 'Are they always like that?'

Serena shrugged. 'Pretty much.'

'Well…' she cleared her throat '…I shouldn't say this but they don't seem like a normal couple.'

Nate forgot they didn't know each other any more. 'Blair, that's rude.'

She raised both eyebrows. 'I guess it was. Sorry, but still…'

Just like that, she looked like his ex girlfriend, except laughter tugged at her mouth, and for noo reason he could think of, he laughed with her.

'Blair?'

'Huh?'

He chewed on his lip. He wasn't a guy who clung to his feelings but he'd been so scared she was going to die. 'Can I hug you?'

She tilted her head back, startled. 'Well,' she said 'yes.' she opened her arms, but he could see she felt funny about it, too. Then as soon as he put his arms around her, she hugged back. Tight.

'I'm glad you're okay,' he said.

'Thanks.'

They both moved to neutral corners and avoided looking at each other. But he felt better.

END CHAPTER FIVE

Quick little chapter, I'm trying to stick to the main plot line but also deal with the other characters feelings too.

Please review and let me know what you think.

Xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Shocked at Blair's pregnancy and the fact she'd hidden it, Chuck avoided his family that night. He couldn't have hidden his panic at the uncertain future of his marriage, but he had to keep fighting. Blair and the baby needed him to save the business and their family.

The next morning, Chuck walked the stairs up to Serena and Dan's Brooklyn loft. Several miles from where he and Serena had grown up, the loft bore the loving stamp of a family in it's neatly maintained appearance and well loved inhabitance.

He might not be so welcome once he suggested that Serena was neglecting her friend.

He rapped on the door. It swung open. Serena peered around it and Chuck got to the point. 'Why haven't you been visiting Blair?'

'And good morning to you.' she stood aside. 'Come in, Chuck, and tell me what is making you more surly than usual.'

Yesterday's news about the baby gave him plenty to be surly about, but he still wouldn't discuss his growing family, even with his sister. A new thought made him uneasy. As close as his sister and wife had been, Serena might already know. He couldn't ask. He didn't want to know if Blair trusted Serena more than she trusted him.

'Blair needs to see everyone who might help her remember. You only stayed five minuets yesterday.' he started. 'She's been there for you, Serena. All your life.'

'I know. She helped me in school. She supported me with boys and picked up the pieces when it didn't work out. She was there for me when I was pregnant and supported me on my wedding day even though she doesn't approve of Dan.' He steeped inside the loft. 'Are you afraid to see her?'

She met his gaze. Not for the first time, this woman who he'd know his whole life disconcerted him. In silence Serena led him to the kitchen. She poured a cup of strong black coffee and set it on the counter in front of him.

'I'm terrified. Blair is part of me. We share so many of the same memories I'm not sure who I am with out her.'

Her frankness only emphasized their serious fix. Serena had become his friend as he'd fallen in love with her friend. He'd helped her we he could, but she never confided in him this way.

And now they were going through the same crisis. Who were they when Blair, the glue that had held their makeshift family together, no longer knew them?

He closed his eyes. A shout rose in his throat. Pure pain that only his Blair could alleviate. Only his Blair no longer existed.

'I understand why you're reluctant,' he managed to say, 'She may not remember you, but she needs you. You are a part of each other. You can tell her things about her past that the rest of us don't know.'

'I don't know her better than you do, Chuck.' she took another coffee cup from the cabinet. 'I'm only her friend. You're her husband.'

Not a very good husband. He'd blamed their uneasiness on the stress of running a company. He'd assumed they'd find their way back to each other once he had settled the Jack issue.

'What's on your mind, Chuck? Something else is going on.' Serena's conviction reminded him of Blair after she'd seen through all his half truths. 'You've never stormed over here before to point out my responsibilities to Blair.'

'Help her. Make her remember.'

'Make her?' Serena blanched. 'You're thinking she chose to forget? I wonder, too. Who made her so unhappy? You? Me? I've let her take care of me as if she really were my older sister,'

'She is, you know she considers you a sister. She never meant to make you feel like you couldn't take care of yourself.'

'Sometimes I couldn't. I needed her, but I could never admit it. I always wanted to prove I knew how to handle my own life.'

Her guilt sounded too familiar. He'd needed Blair to believe he was he knight in shining armor, but he'd tried so hard to be a professional success - and then failed so spectacularly - he'd broken her ability to trust him at all.

Damn it, he'd lean how to win back her faith, but she still needed the rest of her family. 'Why don't you take care of her this time?'

She widened her eyes, as if she hadn't thought of the possibilities. That happened when guilt overwhelmed you. 'What's to stop me?' She toasted him with her coffee cup. 'I will go. Tonight. Evening visitor's hours.'

He set his own cup on the counter. 'I have to go into the office for a few hours. Can you fax me the budget for the medical advertising?'

'Sure. Why are you working on Sunday, Chuck?'

He had no choice. He still had to save the company. Serena and too many other depended on him for their jobs. 'I've spent so much time at the hospital I have to catch up on paperwork. How close are you to the figures we discussed when we started the project? Not over budget anywhere?'

She plucked a pair of glasses from the shelf beside the sink and slid them onto her nose. 'I'll get the file now if you want. We're close on budget.'

Like Serena, he felt more at ease talking about work, a topic her and Blair rarely discussed. Lately, he'd tended to share tense silence with his wife. Silence couldn't bide easily between two people hiding life-altering secrets.

END CHAPTER SIX

Please review and let me know what you think.

Xoxo


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

'I'm Dr Davis. I hear you don't remember me.' Blair looked up from her book, relieved to quit pretending she could concentrate enough to read. A tall women stood in the doorway, finely dressed in a beige suit that complemented her dark-mocha skin. Her looks were lovely, but the supreme confidence in her eyes brought Blair the deepest sense of assurance she remembered feeling.

'I'm happy to meet you.' Blair took a get well card from the table and slid it into her book to mark her place. 'Come in.'

The other women set a file on the nightstand. 'Did you tell Charles about the baby?'

'Yesterday.' She left out the art where he'd gone and not come back.

'He didn't take it well?' Dr. Davis reached for the call button on the cord at Blair's shoulder. 'You can't blame him for that?'

'Maybe. Who are you calling?'

'A nurse. I'd like to examine you now that you haven't spotted for several days. Your body has endured a great deal of trauma, and I'd like to make sure the baby's perfectly healthy.'

'What do you need me to do?'

'Relax if you can.'

Blair tried to disguise her distress. 'I'm not sure I could even I remembered how to.'

Dr. Davis laughed. 'Good point.'

The nurse came, and the doctor began her exam. She seemed dissatisfied with what she found. From her particularly vulnerable position, Blair still tried to be brave. 'What?' she asked bluntly.

'Nothing to worry about.' Dr. Davis peered over her shoulder at the nurse. 'Open Mrs. Bass' file and remind me of her dates.'

The date of Blair's last cycle seemed to make matters worse. Blair fought her increasingly primitive need to remove herself from the doctors hands. 'You're scaring me.'

The doctor straightened peeling off her gloves. 'Don't be afraid. Nothings wrong, but I need to listen.' Taking the stethoscope from around her neck, she placed in on Blair's belly.

'I think we need and ultrasound.'

Blair grabbed her arm, pulling her close with strength that surprised her and the doctor. 'You can't hear a heartbeat?'

Humor softened the doctor's wide eyes. 'I hear plenty of heartbeats.'

Her response made no sense at first. Finally, Blair realized what she meant. 'Plenty?' she squeaked.

'Just two, but I don't rely on my ears this early on. Why don't we make sure before you pass out?'

'An ultrasound will tell you? Ultrasounds don't lie, do they? I mean I'm not suddenly going to come up with triplets, am I?

'Try to stay calm. Sudden isn't the way triplets show up.' Dr. Davis pulled the sheet up to Blair's waist. 'Why don't I use my influence to run the test now?'

Calm? At twenty-two, with a husband she didn't know? 'Now would be perfect.'

Dr. Davis picked up the large cup that stood on the nightstand. She shook the cup and then smiled as ice and water sloshed together. 'Start drinking this.'

…...

Later that evening, Blair stared at the ultrasound photo. Two babies. In another twenty-two weeks or so, she'd give birth to twins.

The two small beings on the ultrasound screen had reconnected her to the process of living. She wrapped herself in the happiness she'd felt at watching the two twisting shadows. They needed her, and she resolved to figure out who she was in time to be a good mom to her children.

And she'd learn to be a wife to her husband. He wanted their marriage. She must have wanted it, too. Their children deserved two healthy parents.

Someone knocked softly on her door. Blair lifted the top of her table and slid the ultrasound photo inside. 'Come in,' she called. She smoothed the sheet around her hips and legs and prepared to interrogate her visitor about her past.

Serena learned around the edge of the door. 'Do you mind if I join you?' she asked.

'I'm surprised you want to. Come in and let me apologize for the way I acted. It's just all a little new to me.'

'I shouldn't have run out of here, but I love you Blair. I don't expect you to pretend you feel the way I do, but I want you to depend on me. It's my turn to be there for you.'

'Well, don't sound so sad. You're about to settle your debts. I need a crash course in my own history.'

Serena's instant regret almost made Blair smile. 'What can I tell you?' Serena asked in a wavering tone.

With her new deadline, she had no time for subtlety. First things first. 'Why are you so reluctant to talk to me?'

'I'm embarrassed. You rescued me from every jam I ever got myself into. I can't repay you for-'

Blair interrupted. 'I know you all love me, because my close call seems to have turned me into a saint.' Saints held no charm for her. She didn't trust the tale, and she needed facts. 'Tell me the bad stuff , too.'

'What bad stuff?'

'We're best friends. You must have helped me as much as I helped you.'

A deeper blush darkened Serena's high cheek bones. 'You never really needed help.'

Not true. She probably just hadn't asked for it. 'I need help now.'

As Serena went on answering her question, Blair found that she didn't want to know what Serena thought of her inner workings. Plain facts mattered more. Maybe later she'd be willing to discuss her private thoughts. 'I have to ask you another question you won't want to answer.' She felt disloyal to Chuck after what Serena had said about their childhood. Imagining her husband as a lost little boy, forced to grow up, hurt her. She had to ask his sister about the state of their marriage, because she wasn't sure he'd tell her the truth.

'Were Chuck and I happy?'

Serena jerked back. 'How would I know?'

Blair held her sister in laws so familiar gaze with sheer will. 'You're my friend. I took you at your word when you promised I could depend on you.'

Serena looked as if she'd like to run for her life. 'You would no more have told me about problems between you and Chuck then you would have hired a plane to list them in the sky.'

'I have to know.'

'You aren't yourself.'

'I'm afraid not. I don't trust the way people describe me so far. I was stuffy.'

'Not stuffy, reserved.'

'So much circumspection sounds unnatural.' Blair tucked her sheet around her waist. A walk down the hospital hall might clear her fuzzy head, but weakness in her legs, combined with the deep cut on her thigh held her prisoner, and Serena had backed away when she'd needed her most. 'Thanks for talking. I appreciate your effort.'

'Wait.' Her expression dogged, Serena propped one elbow on the edge of Blair's bed. 'Let me try again. Chuck came o my apartment this morning, and he insisted I see you.'

Blair crossed her arms. She still possessed enough of her infamous self-sufficiency to resent Chuck's intervention.

'Hold on, Blair. He wanted to make sure I took care of you.'

If he knew she needed help, why had he stayed away last night? The obvious answer. She'd dropped a bomb on his head. He needed time to reconcile himself. Not the most romantic tactic , but if he Showed up again soon, she'd try to understand. 'chuck and I aren't your responsibility.'

'Listen to me. You have to listen if you ask for advice. I don't think he'd have come to me if he didn't care.' Serena fluffed her hair. 'Why are we talking about this? He loves you. He's been crazy since that car hit you.'

'He doesn't act like a man in love. He acts like something's wrong.'

'I noticed, but I don't believe your marriage went bad.'

Blair plucked at a loose thread on her sheet's hem. 'I'm glad my marriage comforts you, but I'd love to know how I felt about it.'

'Yeah.' Serena sounded unsure.

And she didn't even know about the twins.

…...

Again, Chuck stared at Blair's door. Someone had printed her name on a small, square whiteboard beside the metal door frame. He brushed away a smear at the and of the s in Bass. Then he went inside.

Favoring her injured leg, his wife turned from the window.

'Blair.' He'd expected her to be in bed.

'I almost stopped hoping you'd come, but I didn't want to be flat on my back when we talked.' A smile hovered at the corner of her mouth.

He knew that sweet shape as well as he knew his own face. He'd kissed that mouth, frowned at that mouth, dreaded seeing it thin and in anger, and waited with held breath for it to smile. A real smile - not like her smile now.

'You knew you could expect me?' Somewhere inside her remained the wife who'd trusted him to take care of her.

'If you'd stayed away tonight, I'd have understood you'd made your decision.'

No, this Blair wasn't the wife he'd lived with for three years. His Blair had never tested him.

'I'm glad I passed.'

'I didn't think of it as a trial. When you didn't call or come back yesterday, I assumed you had to think about where we stood.'

A cold fist squeezed his heart. 'Is that what you've been doing?'

She shook her head. Her dark hair fell over her shoulder, tempting him to slide possessive fingers through the strands before she slipped away from him forever.

'How could I decide anything without talking to you?' she asked in a low voice. Behind her, the night sky perfectly framed her pale skin and tense silhouette.

Her open gaze gave him hope for the first time since she'd run from the office.

'I want to go on together,' he said. 'You're my wife.'

'Don't put it that way, Chuck.' Emotionally, she distanced herself from him. 'I don't want us to stay together because we happen to be married.'

'I get the idea you don't want me to say I love you.'

Those words didn't belong between them since he'd hidden the business trouble and she'd concealed their baby from him.

She limped toward him, but she stopped beside her bed and flexed her fingers on the lip of her table. From her knuckles to her nails, her skin faded to palest white.

'I know something's wrong, and saying you love me would only alarm me now.' She lifted her chin. 'You could tell me what's wrong.'

No, he couldn't. it wasn't just that her injuries had given him time to win her back. He'd never been good at admitting she'd always be his deepest need.

He'd shown her in the only way he'd known how, providing a good life for her.

From now on, he'd pay more attention to her, become the husband she wanted. His father's decades old advice rang in his ears. 'Give your wife the good things in life. Provide, and provide well, or she'll find a man who can.'

'I still don't know why I decided not to tell you about the baby.' She slid her gaze away from him. 'Don't we need to know why?'

'One day I hope you'll tell me.'

'Tonight I have to tell you that I had test today.'

'What kind of test? Is the baby all right?' Fear nearly dropped him to his knees. Even if he couldn't provide for this child as he and Blair had grown up, he love this baby. He'd be the best father his resources allowed.

'I've scare you again. I'm sorry.' Blair hurried around the bed and reached for his hand.

Her fingers felt vulnerable in his, but he couldn't let go. 'I should be tacking care of you,' he said. 'I should have found a better way to say this. Dr. Davis did an exam today and discovered we're having twins.'

'Twins?'

She nodded. Seconds passed. He didn't know how to respond to twins. The cost, the timing. She'd never understand his panic. Distance came into her eyes. By not answering, he was losing her, the woman he'd loved since he'd learned to love, and the woman he no longer knew.

He threw a longing look at her chair. 'Do you mind if I sit?''

She grinned, and he sat without her consent. Was she laughing at him? She didn't respect him for sitting?

'Not that I mind,' he said. 'The twins. I don't mind the twins.'

'You don't have to prove how tough you are. If I hadn't been lying down I might have fallen.'

'Twins.'

'Will you tell me how you really feel?'

'Startled.' He tried hard to think how she'd want him to answer. How he should answer as a decent human being who wanted his wife back and who knew he could love both his children when the shook wore off. 'How are you?' he asked her.

'Glad to see you.' She squeezed his hand once and then let go to scoot onto the edge of her bed an straightened her leg. 'I couldn't tell anyone else before I told you.'

He should be the first to know. He tugged at the hem of her robe. 'Do you feel anything for me?'

Her expression was solemn, but full of regret, 'I fell responsible.'

He let her go. 'I don't know what to think about responsible.'

She folded her hands. 'Let's just be honest and see what kind of relationship we can salvage.'

'I want a marriage.' He still didn't mention the business. Eventually, she'd understand. Between the twins and her memory loss, he couldn't add to the pressure on her.

He'd been afraid she'd leave if he admitted his lie about the company had caused all their problems. Now, he kept the embezzlement to himself because he wanted to protect his wife and their unborn children. This time, he was right to try to protect her.

END CHAPTER SEVEN

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Blair hardly slept the night before she was scheduled to go home. The next day's possibilities ran furiously around her mind. With Serena's help she'd already begun to collect clues about her life. Now, to piece her past and present into one cohesive puzzle.

Lights from the nighttime traffic danced in her walls as crazily as her thoughts until she began to pick out repeating patterns that calmed her. An occasional jet roared overhead, rousing her when she was getting sleepy. She finally dozed off just before dawn.

A crack of thunder brought her straight up in bed. It rumbled slowly faded, and an early-summer down-pour sheeted rain across her window.

She woke each morning, thinking the same question. Would she remember?

Not today. She sensed everything she needed to know, hanging just beyond her reach. No amount of determination brought her answers.

Impatiently, she slid out of bed, but the moment she was vertical, nausea gripped her. She clung to the table, waiting for her stomach to settle. Dr. Davis had suggested saltine crackers, but they only seemed to make her queasier.

Pushing herself to use her weakened legs, she traveled from bureau to bed to pack the small, Louis Verton overnight bag Dorota had brought her.

By the time she snapped the catch on her bag, the rain had began to ease off. Blair perched on the side of her bed to wait for Chuck or her doctor. After a few long seconds, she crossed the room to open her door. Then she hobbled back toward her chair. Footsteps in the hall made her look over her shoulder.

Chuck stopped in the doorway. His brooding expressing suggested strength. His sheer size backed up the claim. He looked from her to her bag. 'I came early to help you.'

At the slight reproach in his tone, she wished she'd waited. She'd already learned he showed his feelings through service. 'The rain woke me early.' she pointed toward the hall he dwarfed with his height. 'Is Dr. Barton out there?'

Shaking his head, he turned to peer down the hall to his right. His purple dress shirt lovingly caressed the strong, straining muscles of his upper back. Bracing his hand against the door frame, he twisted to look the other way. The silk shirt stretched almost out of the narrow waist of his pants. Another shake of his head, and rich, dark strands of hair rubbed his tanned neck. Did he know how good he looked?

'I was hoping they might have signed your release papers already.'

'No.' She tried to sound normal, but hollow, electric bursts of attraction came as a relief. If she planned to stay married, wanting her husband had to be a plus. 'Do we have to wait?'

'You're all set?'

She nudged the bag. 'I've packed everything except for the magazines and books you all brought me. The book cart lady suggested giving them to other patients.'

'Good idea.' Stepping back from the door frame, he looked a touch uneasy. 'Why don't you sit and rest your leg? I'll look for your doctor.' Chuck paused.

'A car is waiting for us downstairs.'

Dr. Barton appeared behind him, carrying the clipboard that held her chart. Chuck moved out of his way but the doctor stopped, clearly discerning stress in the air.

'Am I interrupting?'

Blair shook her head. 'Can I go?'

'Don't rush me. How do you feel? Any morning sickness? How's the leg?'

'My leg's fine, but I feel sick as a dog.'

'Sometimes morning sickness lasts and lasts in a pregnancy.' He flipped up a page on her chart. 'I see the nurse liked the look of your wound last night.'

Blair picked up her bag. Chuck started toward her but Dr. Barton stopped him.

'What's your hurry? Blair has to wait for a wheelchair, and you might want to have the car brought around. I'll walk with you.' He scrawled notes on the chart. 'Blair, I believe I covered all your instructions last night?'

She nodded. 'But you can tell me anything you want to say to Chuck. I'm not an invalid.'

The older man laughed. 'You're getting paranoid.' His bland smile annoyed her. 'Once you're home, take it easy. If you want to exercise, take a walk, but be sure to take water along. I don't want you to get dehydrated. Call me if you have any questions. Oh and Dr. Davis asked me to remind you about your appointment with her.'

'I have the card she gave me.'

'Fine,' he capped his pen and held the chart to his chest as he extended his hand. 'Good luck to you, Blair Bass.'

She ignored his hand, forgave him for his chauvinistic urge to talk about her with Chuck and hugged him. 'Thank you for everything.'

Chuck's bewildered gaze told her she rarely hugged spontaneously. She wasn't surprised after her talk with Serena, but she didn't like thinking of herself as a women who withheld affection.

After a brisk squeeze, the doctor released her and turned to Chuck. 'She's going to be fine. Better than ever. Lets go. I'll tell the nurses you're ready, Blair.'

They left, and Blair felt painfully alone. What kind of women would be better than ever because she hugged her doctor? A frightened one who wasn't sure people would return her affection? Blair shook her head and chose not to be frightened anymore.

END CHAPTER EIGHT

Sorry for the long wait I had a bit of writers block.

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	9. Chapter 9

Striding alongside Dr. Barton, Chuck glanced back at Blair's door. He'd made his decision to help her, not to hurt her. He'd fix the situation at Bass Industries and hoped he wasn't kidding himself when he tried to believe she'd forgive him.

''Charles, slow down. You don't have to worry about Blair." Dr. Barton hurried, the sound of his footsteps ricocheting off the pale-blue walls.

Chuck's heart thudded in time, but he shortened his stride. ''You don't understand.''

''I do. She's not the women you knew, but she's charming, and she wants her life back. She'll benefit from returning to her old habits."

Barton had to be right, and yet… "Is she more likely to remember at home?"

"Seeing places and people she loved may stimulate her memory, but I can't promise you. Just take good care of her. If she seems down or upset, and you don't know what to do for her, persuade her to call me."

Chuck nodded. "As long as she tells me how she feels."

"You'll know, she isn't a complete stranger. The Blair you know is still inside her. Are you afraid you can't wait for her?''

What if he didn't know the real Blair? Maybe she'd never told him how she truly felt. How much had they hidden from each other? Chuck lifted his eyebrows. "I'll wait." What else could he do? Except patience had never been his strong suit. ''Blair's my wife."

Dr Barton's thin smile implied he shared Blair's opinion of that statement. What did they expect? He wanted the Blair he'd fallen in love with. Did that mean he wasn't a good man?

A good man's wife would have told him about their unborn twins. She would have trusted him enough to share the news that must have shocked her.

The day of the accident Blair had been angry enough, disappointed enough – maybe even hurt enough to believe he had no right to know about his own children. Why hadn't he realized then how far apart they'd grown?

"Chuck, I wonder if I should let you leave without talking to someone. You wouldn't be normal if you weren't unsettled about your future with Blair."

"We have to make a future. Can a stranger tell me how to do that?"

Big talk from the little man who'd been that last to know.

Chuck punched the elevator button. His lie about the business was no foundation for a new life. But he cared for his family, and he'd provide for his wife.

Bracing himself to start a future he only half trusted, Chuck shock the other man's hand. "I'm grateful for the care you have given Blair."

"My pleasure. I'll say goodbye here because I'm in the middle of rounds, but remember what I told you."

"I will. I'm sorry if I've been abrupt."

"You have a right." The doctor pulled his pen out of his pocket. "You know my phone number, Chuck?"

He frowned. "I can find it. Why?"

"If you need to talk, call me. Don't fume about your problems alone. You have a whole family depending on you as much as Blair does."

Barton's grasp of his weakness made him smile. "Good advice. I'll remember."

The elevator doors jutted open, and he stepped inside. He avoided looking at Dr. Barton as he pushed the button. The elevator jerked once before it began to descend.

The doctor might be right. Never, in all their years together, had she leaned on him easily. She'd always help parts of herself back as if she had to force herself to share. Now, with their past and her memories beyond her reach, even she needed him. If she leaned on him, he'd support her.

…...

A nurse pushed Blair through the doors in a wheelchair. His wife's stiff posture suggested she remained a woman who accepted assistance only under duress. As he followed Chuck resisted the urge to push the plump woman aside and take control.

The black SUV was waiting beneath the canopy at the hospital entrance. Chuck's long time driver, Arthur rounded the car. "Boy, she's pissed about the wheelchair," he whispered to Chuck.

Rain had turned the air into a humid sauna that began to curl Blair's hair. Searching the building around them, Blair let him take her arm as she rose.

The nurse nodded. "You'll find Dr Barton's instructions on the paperwork I gave you, Mrs Bass. Don't hesitate to call us if we can answer any questions."

"I think we'll be fine. Are you ready, Chuck?"

He opened the door and helped her inside. When he reached for the seatbelt, Blair dropped her hand on his.

"I remember how theses work," she said tightly.

Arthur twisted in his seat. "Morning Mrs. Bass"

"Good morning…."

"Arthur," he finished for her.

Chuck quickly joined them. He met Blair's nervous smile At least he knew the world they were starting over in. The hospital was the only place she knew.

He blouse trembled over her breasts. He r heart must be running like a fugitive train. "Have you eaten breakfast?" she asked.

"Are you hungry?" Grabbing a chance to do something tangible for her, Chuck turned the key in the ignition again. "We can go to your favourite restaurant."

"I'm starving," she said, as if that answered the question.

"Sounds like a yes to me." Chuck pushed some telepathic reassurance Blair's way.

Her gaze lingered on him, a soft touch he'd missed as he'd miss food and drink and air to breathe. He put all his positive energy into hoping the restaurant would spark a memory for Blair.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Stop this is the second update for today. Please go back if you haven't read about Blair leaving the hospital. _**

Chuck stole a glance at Blair. The tip of her nose peeked out of the fall of her brown curls. If she was still worried, she hid it in a close study of the city passing by on their way home from breakfast.

Their meal had been unhurried and Blair had for the first time Chuck could remember eaten her favourite foods, uninhibited by the memories of her past struggles.

They might survive this crisis after all. She'd asked him to help her enter her life again, and he felt stronger because Blair needed him.

As the car slowed to the curb, she drew a quick breathe and pointed to the tall, narrow building. It was just home to him, or it would be now that his wife was sharing it with him again. Through Blair's eyes, he saw how the gold trim of the entryway glittered and how regal the doorman appeared as he cross the sidewalk to open the door.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" The unfamiliar word felt strange in his mouth.

Blair's hair whispered against the seat as she turned to him. "You sound as if you're seeing it for the first time."

"Maybe not the first time, but I've taken it for granted. You picked this building, because of how elegant the lobby was." His beautiful bride to be had tugged his arm as she practical skipped down the block explaining to him how perfect this apartment would be for them. "You're what makes it home, a part of you I can't forget."

"The part you wished would remember you?" Blair prompted

"I guess that depends on why you forgot."

"Dr. Barton didn't talk to you about shock and the amount of blood I lost?" She sounded as if she suspected the doctor might have given her a different story.

"That's what he told me." He hastened to relieve her understandable fear. "But I've researched memory loss on the internet. I know about stress. What if Barton's wrong, and you forgot because you don't want to remember?"

"Tell me what stress I was under."

Annoyed with himself, he motioned for her to step out of the car. He rounded the SUV holding out his arm for her.

"The usual stress. And you're pregnant, but I didn't know that."

She clasped his arm as they walked toward the lobby. He gaze rode him hard as he gave the door man instructions.

"Why didn't I tell you?" she asked as they entered through the glass doors. "I can't believe I would have chosen to get myself pregnant with your knowledge."

He loosened his grip on her arm, as he pressed the button to call the elevator. "We stopped using birth control when we first got married. We tried for a year and it didn't happen. Don't waste your time worrying about why you didn't tell me. We'll deal with the answers when they come."

Blair followed Chuck onto the elevator, sliding her hand beneath the weight of her hair, leaning her nape into the palm of her hand. He rubbed his own hands together, remembering the way soft texture of those dark strands against his skin.

"Sometimes," she said, "I feel as if you know something you're not telling me. You don't have to protect me. I'm not fragile."

He didn't answer. He couldn't lie to her outright.

"Chuck?"

Looking at her, he knew his eyes begged her to take him on faith. She nodded slowly.

"Let's start our life again," she said.

Brave words. In the past weeks, he's struggled each day for a respectable measure of courage. Hers came from a source he'd underestimated. Nodding, he clasped her had as they exited the elevator.

"I'm home," she said

He hadn't excepted her to think of their penthouse as her home already. His legs threatened to give.

Blair flashed an apologetic glance. "I keep repeating it in my head. I thought I might be more convincing if I said the words out loud."

Reality again. He was starting to dislike it. "Do you think you feel up to exploring?"

"I can't wait." She proceeded him as they walked down the narrow hall that lead to the kitchen.

When they'd first moved in she had insisted they renovate the kitchen. She stopped now at the butchers block island and revolved in a slow circle, bemused at the stainless steel fixtures, all state of the art, all of a sturdy and useful.

"Why does this place look like a restaurant?"

He almost dropped her bag. "That's what I said the first time you showed it to me. You talked me into theses appliances. You desperately wanted to lean t cook, to be a 'sweet little house wife' as you put it."

She turned away from the island. "I don't recognise myself when you talk about me."

Chuck's world slipped a little, like a foundation incorrectly laid. He had known Blair their entire lives, he'd believed he knew all about her. "What don't you recognise?"

"Obviously, women choose to make homes for their busy husbands and to look after children, but how would I stay home with so little to do around here?"

Little to do? How about taking care of their family?

She laid her left hand on her forearm. He started at the narrow band on her ring finger, at the diamond he'd picked just for her. He'd insisted, because the sapphire she'd liked hadn't said the same thing as a diamond.

"What did I say that scared you?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I wonder if you were bored with me – with our life – before the accident."

"I wish I hadn't said that."

He twined his fingers with hers, and she didn't pull away. Did she notice she'd let him touch her? "Say what you feel. Ask me anything. I want to help you, but I can't promise I won't be disturbed when you tell me something I didn't know about you."

Shrugging, she gently disentangled herself from him. Her smile flirted a little. "I hope I keep on disturbing you. I'd rather not be the only one who's confused." The tender curve of her lips made her look more like his Blair.

His heart responded, but he checked his involuntary response. "Why don't we take your things to our room? I'll show you the way, and then you can explore the rest of the place while I make some calls. We'll take those stairs." He pointed toward the white wooden steps tucked into the corner beside the pantry.

Blair climbed ahead of him. Her perfume drifted back as her hair gently settled to her shoulders with each step.

"You'll probably want to change," he suggested. "Our room is the first door on the left."

As she took in the narrow hallway, he saw its shadowed closeness for the first time in years. She hung back, as if she shared his unexpected claustrophobia.

"We should have discussed sleeping arrangements before now," She said.

A rush of resentment surged through him, but he opened the bedroom door. He was determined to be strong for her.

She followed him inside, carefully avoiding the four poster bed and the overstuffed armchairs that guarded the wide bay window. A reading lamp hovered at the corner of her chair. She'd loved this room.

He also avoided the furniture they'd used all their marred life. He wouldn't let his need to hold her again turn into immature anger. "You're asking me to move out?"

"No, this is your room. It's strange to me." She stopped

Well, he probably looked stricken.

"It's comfortable," she improvised, confused about what mattered to him. "But unfamiliar. I'll move out until we know each other again."

He did know her. Some caveman instinct that startled even him suggested he ease her to their bed and remind her in all the ways he knew she loved.

"You stay here," he said and then cleared his throat. If shed known 'him at all, his husky tone would have betrayed the erotic images in his mind. "I'll take the guest room."

Stubbornness she'd never shown before firmed her mouth. "Why should you sleep anywhere besides your own bed? You don't have to be a gentlemen."

"I'm not," he said. "I want you to remember. Maybe, if you stay in a room you loved, surrounded by belongings you've chosen, your life will come back to you." And she'd return to him. Unless she remembered his lie about the business.

For a moment she didn't care if she remembered what he'd done as long as she remembered the rest of their lives together. The company mattered, but they had children who would need both parents, and he wanted Blair to remember loving him.

"I'll just go make my calls and then I will move my things."

"Can't you call from here?" Her gaze reached the telephone on the side of the bed. She picked up the receiver and held it to him.

"Listen, Blair, this time I could use a break. I'm willing to do what you want about our marriage, but I'm not happy about separate rooms. Let me go downstairs and deal with my work stuff." He stopped as she looked at him with a pinched face.

She twisted her neck, flexing the muscles. Once he would have stepped behind her to massage her tension away. Chuck needed her with a yearning that went so deep in his body he had to force himself not to shake like a scared child. "I just need a moment."

She out her hand on his arm, and he jumped, but then stood still, meeting her gaze. Her mouth was vulnerable. Her eyes beseeched. "I learn to be your wife again, Chuck."

"I don't want you to learn." He bit the inside of his cheek until it hurt. "I want a wife who loves me "he felt naked.

"What if I don't remember? I can't promise to fall in love with you." She took both his hands in hers and pulled them against the swell of her stomach where the babies they'd made together were growing. "But I want a real marriage." Her dark eyes glinted with life he'd never seen before. "And I want it with you. I'm willing to believe I might come to feel love enough to make our marriage real again."

"For the children?"

"For them. I won't lie to you, but I don't want to throw the past away just because I don't remember it. I want to know what I can feel for you if we give each other time."

He wasn't a man who talked about maybes. He believed in reality, like concrete and steel. He carried her bag to the chair in front of his cluttered desk.

When he turned, she was still watching him. Her soft tone and intense gaze promised a future he craved. But would she try so hard if she knew he'd failed in their present?

He'd feared losing Blair for most of his life. She'd always said she wanted to share the bad times, the problems he'd tried to hide as well as their successes, but he couldn't show her his failures, he wouldn't let another person in his life be disappointed in him.

"You don't have to handle me with care, Chuck."

He held onto the chair to fight off another bout of shaking. She knew something was wrong.


End file.
